The power of the orgasm

There’s this episode of Friends where the gang are arguing about who gets it best – men or women – be it certain talents or abilities that separate them. After Phoebe points out her inability to understand how guys can do so many mean things and then not even care, Ross shoots back ‘multiple orgasms!’

Welcome to the power of the female orgasm. Or pussy, as was my original working title.

We live in 2022, so the idea of orgasms, sensuality, sexuality and pleasure isn’t that niche, but perhaps the idea of viewing orgasms as therapeutic still is.

I love that I have some of the most open, in touch (puns intended) girlfriends and colleagues I can easily (and casually) mention to how much better I’m feeling after a ‘good release’…or 3. That’s how this piece came about. One afternoon, in response to my media manager asking me over email how my day was going, I mentioned how much better I was feeling after a sunrise swim, workout and spontaneous midday work break involving me, myself and I *(I should mention here that I work from home so it’s all very appropriate!).

We have a pretty cool and relaxed working relationship, so it got us emailing about the benefits you feel post a good orgasm (or 2, 3, 4, 5 etc…you get the picture) and how sometimes (often), that’s actually ALL YOU NEED!

A good ‘crack of the clit’. That’s the analogy I like to use to explain it. We go to the chiropractor when out of alignment to help us release any nervous tension, twists and knots etc and if like me, you are a long-time chiro fan, after some adjustments and cracks, it’s not unusual to feel a huge sense of release be it physical, mental or emotional…or all the above.

Giving your clit a good crack *(I should note here crack is just a good use of wordplay, I DO NOT suggest cracking your clit. Touching, stroking, light pressing etc are all encouraged) is as much about pleasure as it is therapeutic. And it’s FREE!!!

Think about it – when have you ever not felt instantly better be it relaxed, recharged, renewed or just damn happy?!

I’ve spoken about free therapies before in my blog about divorce (see Dealing with the ‘d’ word holistically’) and I really believe – as a holistic health coach and from my own personal practice – that more often than not, an orgasm is just what you need to put a pep in your wellbeing step.

  1. Science says so

Orgasms are known to positively contribute to everything from pain relief, immunity, sleep and blood flow in the brain (obviously the clitoris too!) to giving us gals a glowing and more ‘youthful’ appearance. The next time you see a woman and suspect she has that pregnancy glow you might be inclined to have other suspicions instead 😉

  1. Sometimes yoga just doesn’t cut it

I have a lot of consistent practices or ‘non-negotiables’ I make sure I indulge in to keep me as centred, grounded and self-connected as possible such as yoga, ocean swims, coast walks, sunshine, a good podcast or book and silent time. But sometimes, be it my adrenals and anxiety on alert, a busy workday with my mind in overdrive or simply feeling disconnected from my flowing feminine self, I know that the one thing that will allow me to get out of my head and back into my ideal state is the right tunes, my imagination and toolkit (be it an extension of my hand or battery operated). And before I know it, I’m out of that frantic, tense and ‘masculine’ energy that as a working woman and FIFO partner, can be challenging to shake off.

  1. It doesn’t always have to be directly about pleasure

I have a high libido. It’s nothing I feel shy to talk about given I have hinted at that before (see 4 seasons in 4 weeks’ ). Quite often than not, addressing my clitoris is just about honouring my libido’s needs. But there are times when I’m feeling rather emotional, reflective, upset or experiencing a merry-go-round in my head and I could use (aka NEED!) a good cry. Cue the clitoris! We hold tension in there too you know and if there is a decent build up, you are likely to experience one of those next level, 11 out of 10 explosive orgasms that lingers on for a good 5-10 seconds (ladies I know – or I certainly hope you know – the kind I’m talking about!) and kick starts the waterworks. From both your tear ducts and you ‘vaginal ducts’.

  1. It’s a beautiful (and important) form of self-care/self-love

It amazes me to think how many women out there may not be making the time or allowing themselves the space to embrace this natural and very rewarding form of TLC. I understand how it can easily be ‘swept under the rug’ (read that as you wish) given the modern woman spends most of her day doing everything that overrides her libido or ability to listen to it. Work, kids, chores, errands, family and social demands and basically being in charge – all the things that take you out of the ability to relax, reconnect and reset.

Or, they just haven’t connected the therapeutic aspect and self-permission to self-indulge.

I wanted another expert and female opinion on this, and I couldn’t think of anyone better to ask then my dear friend Rosie Rees, nude yoga teacher, intimacy coach and founder of Yoni Pleasure Palace

“It really comes back to conditioning. A lot of girls when younger are shamed for touching their genitals and feeling and experiencing pleasure. Shamed by parents, teachers, anyone around them really saying its wrong, bad, dirty or sinful, which creates disconnect from pleasure and the yoni, meaning ‘sacred temple/space’ in Indian Sanskrit. Basically, we get told to be good little girls or what I refer to as the ‘good girl syndrome’. It can really have a negative impact on girls once they are adults. Especially if they’ve been brought up in a highly religious upbringing or culture that only encourages sex after marriage. There’s this gap between being the good girl and then the expectation to be this multi-orgasmic woman as an adult. And that’s where I come in, bridging that gap and helping women reconnect to pleasure, to their genitals and to their self-pleasure through breath, sound and movement whilst in self-pleasure. It’s using self-pleasure as a way of self-sourcing our own pleasure.

Avoidance of self-pleasure or masturbation can really come down to conditioning, culture and religion, but also miseducation or lack of sex education and lack of consent, boundaries and pleasure education as teens. There are a lot of adults doing their sex education and re-learning how to touch themselves and explore their bodies.

When you feel open orgasmically and sexually fulfilled, you not only have more confidence and energy, you also experience better mental health and wellbeing. Sexual health is just as important as eating healthy and exercising. It’s a holistic health measure to feeling good in all areas of your life, especially in reducing stress and improving sleep!”

As I wrap this up, it’s probably a good time to mention that your partner or whoever you are seeing/dating/hooking up with can (and should!) often be involved! Getting down to self-orgasm business shouldn’t be about filling a hole (again, pun 100% on purpose!) your partner isn’t serving. (If it is, entirely different topic but still relevant. If you know how to please yourself, you have better hope of being able to guide your partner to hitting the right spot as well). I have ZERO complaints about using his skill set when I want it. But he’s not always on hand (sometimes on site, sometimes just not at home) and he’s not always what I’m needing. Sometimes I want (and again I reiterate the word NEED) it to be about my own experience. And he has no issues with that! Why should he? Guys jerk off regularly and no one bats an eyelid (penis on the other hand…).

Being able to use the gift of your G-spot for your own therapeutic needs is a sacred one that deserves to UNASHAMEDLY be honoured, nurtured, embraced and celebrated.

Stay juicy,

C xx