Self-love: Learning to fall in-love with yourself
Self-love. Is this word being overused? If you ask me, it’s still not being emphasised enough! The problem is, we hear and see it so much now that it’s context, meaning and importance can start to lose effect.
Or – which, I can openly admit in my case – we can confuse “self-love” as being the same as “self-care”. The two are in fact very different…
Self-care is the practice of habits or rituals that keep us feeling some-what ‘balanced’. As a holistic health coach, I dedicate a lot of time teaching others the benefits of ‘juicy’ daily rituals like movement, good nutrition, gratitude etc., that all contribute to raising our feel-good hormones. Don’t get me wrong, these day-to-day habits are really important, but they can often involve sporadic spurts of time and external factors that keep us happy for the moment… until that feeling wears away and we start over again the next day.
Self-love on the other hand. Well, that’s a journey I’m on as I write this. It’s not an area I intentionally set out to seek – because, to be honest, I already thought I had it covered. But like most life-changing or transitional times in our lives, this level of inward reflection was forced onto me by life circumstances. Probably because I hadn’t been noticing the signals (or perhaps I’d been unconsciously ignoring them?), the Universe decided to intervene.
I always say at first the Universe will knock, then it will bang the door before it eventually runs you over and forces you to listen.
Well, I’m listening… and I encourage you to listen to.
You can be someone who genuinely likes themselves, is comfortable in their own skin, exudes confidence (or thinks she does), is independent, successful… All the things that seem to sing a high level of self-love. And yet deep down you realise you have lost your self-worth. Or worse – given it away.
Discovering true self-love means getting uncomfortable; within yourself, the world around you. It’s letting go of everything you thought to be true, even sometimes the identity you’d created for yourself and just wiping that slate clean. Or in my case, finding a big part of the “you” that you’d lost, forgotten or didn’t even realise existed. It’s getting lost in yourself and not just in your place in the world or in your relationships.
“Travel down long winding roads without a destination in mind. Climb a mountain and shout your heart out into the void, kiss strangers, make love, skinny dip in a lake, get lost and lose yourself (these are two separate things), explore the wilderness (particularly the one within), think less of destiny and more of the moment right here.” – Beau Taplin @beautaplin
To me, this is letting go of the image, level of expectation and perfection you put on yourself and embracing so much love and appreciation for who you already are and the woman you know you are still yet to become.
“It’s not just about a man, there is a bigger picture here. It all comes together when you get right yourself and find your purpose. When you love yourself, heal, get rid of past hurts, disappointments, and flush that negative energy out of your system. You become the woman you were created to be and that is a beautiful thing.” – Stephan Labossiere @stephanspeaks
This one, for me, is being ok with being totally alone in your own company. Not just when your housemate or partner isn’t there – but knowing that it’s just solely you to wake up to and go to sleep with and being perfectly at peace with that.
Self-love is loving yourself enough to know and truly discover who YOU are, what you stand for (what you won’t stand for), what you want, what you deserve in life, how you want to feel, how you want others to make you feel. Unapologetically.
“You don’t have to say sorry for how you laugh, how you dress, how you make your hair, how you do your make up, how you speak. You don’t have to be sorry for being yourself. Do it fearlessly.” – Unknown
As Tony Robbins says, ‘Life is always happening FOR us, not to us.”
I have chosen to embrace 2019 in a way I never have before… To let go. To allow myself the strength, power and courage to really, really let go. To have (uncontrolled) fun, be spontaneous, be selfish. A little irresponsible at times, as long as it doesn’t hurt others. To love myself just as much, if not harder than I’ve ever loved anyone else. To know I’m worthy of it all. And then some. To dig deep and try things I’ve never done – even if they scare me. To be ok with not knowing. In fact, to fall in-love with not knowing. Other than knowing that I’ll be ok. Because if I wholeheartedly love myself, how could I not?
P.s. Tune in for my webinar next week (click here for link to flyer and info), Wednesday 23 Jan at 7pm, with Dr Natalia Fidyka from BodyLove The Diary on self-love and body image for that little taste of self-love of your physical self too.
Wednesday 23 Jan at 7pm Western Standard Time
Join us via Zoom using this link.